Previous Posts about this work here and here.
I started this somewhere around 2010. It was smaller than it is now and it was sort of an exercise in working with red. There were some emotional things going on at the time, including the passing of both of our elder dogs just a month apart, and I was pondering matters of the heart. I was also waiting on materials for a large commission and once it got going, I set this aside.
In 2014, I was revisiting this little piece and decided to continue with it. I was thinking that it could be part of my Impromptu Series, but then realized it did not fit the criteria as closely as I wanted. Then, my younger brother passed away unexpectedly. I felt that the initial start on this was rougher than I normally like—it felt sloppy. But it also felt raw and like something I could just work on without thinking too hard about it while I pondered the stuff of iife, like death. I decided to dedicate it to my brother and I called it Fragile Heart.
Again, I abandoned it. My impulse for control and precision left me very judgmental of it. I considered tossing it, but I thought it was intriguing and maybe—maybe—someday I would be able to finish it without judgement.
When You Left Us, detail
Well, it seems that time came a few weeks ago. After finishing A Little Love Story and being disappointed that I had fallen into my controlling habit—I do think it would be a more interesting mosaic if I had applied a looser technique—I was determined to work more loosely and that is just what this piece called for.
When You Left Us, detail
So I finished this 10 year-old mosaic with little fuss. I vowed to not change any of the previous work—although I did end up changing just one piece—and to not stress about the gradation or the precision of my cuts. It still looks raw to me, and I think that is appropriate. It is still dedicated to my little brother, but with the new name: When You Left Us.